The Curse of the Non-Cursive & Other Curses of Current Concern

Do you know this man?*

Curses!  The world is too much with us. Who said that?  I would imagine many young folks don't know.  I had to look it up, but I did remember the quote*.  But that lament precurses mine here.  I recently read that cursive writing was no longer being taught in some schools.  And it is also becoming more and more true that people have trouble writing in longhand, even stumbling while signing their own name!  I admit, I do not write by hand much any more.  I have become so acustomed to typing my thoughts and messages on my trusty Mac.  But as was said long ago by a famous statesman of yore, "It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one."**  I have no excuse here other than convenience and ease of editting.  

Recently I went to the move True Grit with some friends.  We were all wondering how they could remake an American movie classic.  We were all as in vernacular of today goes, blown away.  It was excellent.  But one thing that truly amazed us about the movie was, believe it or not, the dialogue.  The manner in which these inhibitants of a uncivilized and hostile environment spoke was indeed formal and sans contraction, ie: "do not", not "don't" or "will not", not "won't".  The characters spoke with a civility and gentility that belied there education and status.  It appeared someone took the time it would take to teach these folks proper speech and sentence structure.  But I digress.

Another thing I have some to realize with some dismay is that the prediction made in my youth that cash money (dollars, coins, etc.) would someday become a thing of the past.  By cracky, it is happening!  And, believe it or not, the routine handling of money in financial transactions is a dying art.  I recently found myself in possession of some of the greenback paper stuff and took it to the store to purchase groceries.  Now I realize that some of this language is sounding a bit stilted or archaic, but that only reflects how I feel!  I have grown so acustomed to using my debit card for most transactions, I did not recall easily how to enter my Vons' Club number into the ATM and then give cash.  And then counting change and trying to put it into my wallet, I became all thumbs!  Oh the feeling of becoming a member of an quickly passing generation who remembers these things!

So I curse the promoters of non-cursive scribing among us!  It is a curse NOT to know how to put pen to paper and write your signature, let along a letter to family or friends or the local editor.  Somehow becoming totally dependant on texting, tweeting and status updating to communicate is a sad glimpse of the future indeed.  But at least it is expedient.  And I can let at least 283 people if not more know I went to see True Grit at one time...if not more!

*The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,

The winds that will be howling at all hours,

And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,

For this, for everything, we are out of tune;

It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be

A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn; 

So might I, standing on this pleasant lea, 

Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;

Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;

Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

William Woodsworth, 

American Poet

(And don't ask me who Proteus or Triton are.  As any father of years gone by would say, "Look it up and learn.")

**This quote was attributed to George Washington, First President of the United States.  I think they still ask students to study some of the US presidents and their contributions to our shared history, but I could be wrong.  

My Get Up and Go Got Up and Went...Maybe

This morning I woke up with a burst of energy.  I awoke and got out of bed at 6am.  Haven't done that for a while.  Got dressed, fed the dogs and cats and then went on our morning walk.  The dark of night had retreated and the sun was rising like a medalion of hope in the eastern sky.  I was jazzed.  I made some business calls, some personal calls, scheduled a lunch date, a dinner date, a business appointment and was a Trumpian roll.  I started to work on a weekly publication I do for our church.  I tell you, I was N-R-Gized!  

Then I listened the TV talking heads.  Demi-god celebrities ranting and airing their dirty laundry.  Mega-millianaires and disgruntled politicos running for president (maybe).  Extreme middle east unrest and madmen spewing garbally good as if it were a new doctrine and some pendants think maybe we are leading the world into WWIII.  I felt my energy begin to flag.  I ate some Activia.  I sat down at my desk.  Suddenly I was overcome with inertia.  I decided to take shower in order to revitalize myself.

The shower was good and I felt awake again for the second time this morning.  I got dressed and ready for the day ahead.  Hair cut at 11, shopping to do, maybe some yard work on this a nice California day.  Or maybe a movie.  Then to dinner with old friends.  It promised to be a good day.

And it still is.  I noted that maybe my "get-up-and-go" had not in fact got up andwent.  It had merely scared itself.  "Too much!  Too much," it cried!  "Get a grip!"  I then had a talk with myself.  Get over yourself.  Just get started again and you will be fine.  Write.  Write anything.  Just do it (ala Nike).  And I did. And it worked.  The energy came back.  I am out of the ebb and into the flow.  I guess it is true what they say: up and at 'em beats laying down on the job every time.  And off we go where ever my get up and go takes me.

Look for Trains

Every morning I take my dogs for their morning constitutional.  On our usual route we cross the railroad tracks near my home. We stop.  We look both ways.  We watch.  No train.  We look some more, down the tracks coming from the east and the up the tracks heading to the west.  From the east comes cargos from the midwest or the eastern US.  In the mornings, the Metrolink barrels through carrying commuters into LA.  From the west come other cargos from the ports of LA and Long Beach.  We imagine the exotics from the far east.  Cattle cars.  Automobile carriers.  No passenger trains save the Metrolinks.  Then, when no train appears imminent, we move on.

Now should a train be coming down the tracks we've noticed thay the red lights begin to flash, the directed horns begin to blare and the black and white barrier arms come down.  We feel the ground rumbling.  The train blows its horn in the distance.  The sound of the train itself precedes it.  Then finally the train appears and swooshes by. 

It seems we could not avoid seeing the train.  I look at Ching Ching.  I watch Tater sitting calmly as the behemoth charges by.  I think to myself, "That train would be hard to miss."  But then had the sign not been there, I might not have looked for it.  As I sit in at my desk in my house, I can feel the floor vibrate as the train rumbles by.  I hear the horn.  I hear the squeal of the metal wheels on the steel tracks.  I can tell the train is passing and even recognize the change in sound toward the end when the cargo cars give way to the backward engines being hauled along behind.  Even without looking, I know when the train is passing.

I guess what bugs me is that we so often have to state the obvious.  I remember when I was a kid how much "Look both ways before crossing" was emphasized as we were sent out into the world.  That made sense.  Most kids don't keep their minds on what lies ahead when they are walking to school or the mall.  They are busy laughing or talking or thinking about anything but the dangers that lurk in the intersections of life.  I guess we do need signs to remind us to look before crossing.  But where is the line between a "nanny-state" and personal responsibility?  It is all blurred these days...just like the train rushing past us. Unless we focus we do not see.  And being present as we walk to school, the mall or just through life, is hard and requires some discipline.  Perhaps we do need warning signs more than I thought.  Now that is something to think about.

Its Monday morning and my mind is like a hummingbird flitting from blossom to blossom.  Each idea is a blossom waiting to bloom into a full blown thought.  Each thought waiting to connect together into an observation or reflection or the occaisional diatribe on life and all its mechanations.   In other words, this is a random recording or what I'm thinking this morning as another week gets into full swing.

It's so easy to dream.  Its much more difficult to acutally fulfill one.  

Shampoo Warning: I figured out why I'm so fat. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, "for extra volume and body." Going to start using Dawn dishwashing soap. It says, "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove." 

(stolen from a friend - it made me laugh so hard I had to share)

I'm wondering about the Oscars, which, as I write this, were given out last night.  I guess I am not ready for the new generation to take over.  While Anne Hathaway was charming, she was a bit giggly.  And James Franco was not really present.  People went on and on in thank you's (even more than usual).  I agreed with the awards in general, wondered why only 4 songs and 3 nominations for make-up?  Maybe I am getting old.

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, 

small minds discuss people. 

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Why are people surprised it gets cold in winter and hot in summer?

I'm wondering where the time goes.  Every day I wake up and it is a day later.  Sometimes I think, "A day late and a dollar short".  Other times I think, "And the days grow short...".  And sometimes I think, "Seize the day!".  Most of the time I think, "What day is it?"

Be careful how you live; you may be the only Bible some people ever read." ~ William J. Toms

Today is National Tooth Fairy Day!

I still believe dreams come true but if wishes were horses, beggas would ride.

"Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears."

Albert Camus 

Me, I wonder if I am even capable.

Monday is wash day.  My sheets are in the wash now.  Old saws are the best.  They help us keep focussed and from running amuck.  Or so one would think.  

And now off to the matters at hand whatever those may be.

Overcast Reflections on a Winter's Day

I don't know about you for certain, but perhaps you too feel the sense of amazement I do over the clouds above on a winter's day like today.  Cool and crisp, I like the way the air feels on my face as I walk the dogs or make my way downtown.  The sky seems to be expressing the passions of the universe.  You must know what I mean.  An overcast day:  the weather seems to be calling me to go inward, reflect on the things that really make life worth living.  It is a time to hunker down, to wear warm, knitted garments to keep you snug against the elements.

As you may notice, I tend think deeper thoughts on days like today.  Maybe it is just me, but I truly believe God wants us to look inside, at least now and then, if not more often, just to keep in touch with the wonder of Nature and the world around us.  I tend to think about the meaning of life, what's really afoot in all the upheaval in the world and how fragile and brief life really is.  And I take note.

It is truly awe-inspiring to me is that, even with the skies covered with grey and the looming of a storm, and that even when the heavens seem to open up and threaten to wash us all away or cover us in a white blanket of snow, there is beyond the clouds the eternal blue sky.

Its gonna be a good day.  It can be every day as long as we remember that there is a blue sky beyond the clouds and some call it heaven, some, the universe.  I call it the promise of life and love and the connection to all that is truly holy.  

This day, like all days, was made for us to live into.  Who are we to waste it?

To Be Totally Present

I would love to think that when I am with you, everything else drops away.  I try.  It is a discipline to be practiced.  I succeed much of the time, but there are times when I drift off and find myself thinking about things I need to do, people I need to contact, peanut butter pattie cookies or what a pretty day it is.  This is drifting.  I am good at drifting away.  That is when I catch myself and through in the anchor again and try to focus on the matter at hand.  If that is you, then you are all there is.


A local therapist and philopher recently posted the following which caused me to reflect on meditation and motherhood for reasons you hopefully will come to understand. 


"To be totally Present with someone is a form of meditation. When we are intensely focused on another person, all thoughts of self drop away and the mind becomes still, like a deep pool in a forest. There is no worry about what to say or do next; thoughts and actions simply arise, express themselves, and return to deep silence. In this moment of LOVE, all separation disappears and PERFECT ONENESS is all that remains."  --Richard Young


True meditation is when everything drops away and there is just the now.  I often think to myself how can there be anything else but the now?  But there looms the potentiality of the future and the reflections on the past which carry us away from the now.  Now is all we have.  Now as I am writing this, there is just the words being formed in my head, flowing from my mind to my fingers to the keyboard to the screen and ultimately to you, the reader of this.  This I am doing in my "now".  You are reading it in your "now".  My now touches you in my future which is now my past but is your present.  Time, you see, is very complicated and yet time truly does not exist.   If you are lost in this reflection, don't dispair.  Time will move on and it does indeed heal.  


No one can be more present than a mother.  Giving birth is probably one of the most intimate and scarey things a woman can do.  There is nothing quite like the love of mother who loves her children.  The ideal mother is one who is present fully for their child.  We can all "mother" by giving birth to those around us of their ideas and aspirations.  We can listen.  We can be present.  


Today, February 24, was my mother's birthday.  Today she would have been 92.  She passed away at 57, younger than I am now.  Her life was never easy what with many physical challenges an alcoholic husband, a developmentally disabled son and me.  But I never felt slighted.  I always knew she loved me with all her heart.  I was told by several other family members and her friends that all she ever wanted was to be a mother.  I was glad I was able to help her with that.    It is because of that unconditional love you gave me that I grew up understanding what true love is.  Happy birthday, Mom.  Thanks for the gift you gave me.


Not sure why, but this sign seemed appropriate to include here.  Maybe if we all "mind the gap" between ourselves and other, between reality and imagined, we would not fall into the gaps between now, the future and the past.

Sleeping Toward Morning

I dreamt I slept the day away dreaming.

I understand we spend a third more or less of our lives asleep.  Last night I was thinking about that as I got into bed.  Pulling the covers up to my chin on a cold winter night, how good it feels to get into bed and just lie there all snug and secure, waiting for the night train to dreamland.  Then I realized one can only truly sleep when one feels safe.  My dogs and cats must feel very safe indeed. They can sleep at the drop of a hat.  Whenever the activity comes to a halt, to sleep they go.

Sleep is a journey one takes to places one would never dream of while awake.  I guess that is why they call it sleep.  You can do the most amazing things while asleep: travel to exotic places, even the moon and beyond.  You can talk with the living and the dead and come to understand deep philosophical truths such as "Who is God and does He/She really exist?" and the most mundane facts of life like why someone would put back an empty milk container in the refrigerator.

One thing that stood out in my mind as I was preparing to fall asleep is that even when we are awake, we may still be asleep.  I have been reading some books that talk about being mindfully aware of ourselves and our activities to the point that life becomes a living meditation.  So often I find myself doing things automatically such as when I drive to a place I have been routinely over and over, I find myself suddenly jolted by the fact that I don't remember the trip at all.  The I fear is truly being asleep while awake.

Asleep while in a sleep.  Awake to find I am am still asleep.  The awakening to a wakefulness to find you are still in a sleep asleep.  There's an old song I used to love but haven't heard in a long time.  It won the Oscar in 1969.  That was the year I was a high school senior and playing the role of the melancholy poet.  I felt alive then, just as I am beginning to feel again now.  Thinking deep thoughts, dreaming mystical dreams, that is feeling alive for me.  Here is how that song, "The Windmills of My Mind" ends:

Like a circle in a spiral

Like a wheel within a wheel

Never ending or beginning, 

On an ever spinning wheel

As the images unwind

Like the circles that you find

In the windmills of your mind

So up I get again today to go out into the world and whether this is just a dream or it is reality, well, only the next awakened moment will tell. In the meantime, as Shakespeare once penned, "To sleep perchance to dream...ay, there's the rub."