40 Days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Seven Part 2

Update!

Okay, today was the day to give up procrastination.  And I decided to just do it.  And, well, I think I succeeded!

I let go and let God.  That of course is the first thing one needs to do when giving up procrastination.  You see, if you are busy listening to your ego (self, inner voice, little kid, whatever you call it) you sometimes end up following the path of least resistance.  Which in my case means, feeling overwhelmed and not accomplishing much.

Today I sat down and got to work.

I have a folder (several actually) on my desk.  One in particular is marked "To Do".  Today I did several to-do's.  I filled completed requests for insurance reimbursements, (an onerous task), took the kids to the vet, (a fun task, but always expensive),  revisited an personal commitment with someone and renewed same and several other items.  In all, it was a good day.  

Just doing it, is, well, just a matter of just doing it.  If you don't start somewhere, you don't get anywhere.

So how does that tie in with letting go and letting God and giving up procrastination?  Well, once you discern what it is you want to accomplish, God will support you.  The universe moves and you can get things done.

Giving up procrastination is a easy...as long as  you don't put it off.

40 days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Seven

And for Day Seven of Lent: "It's a Leap Year and

today is the extra day we get in 2012. The perfect day to give up procrastination.

Whatever you've been putting off, do it now."

A Leap Year Sundial Calendar

Morning.

The day is young.  I have a list a things to do.  I have procrastinated on several of them, so today's admonition hits home.  So, with that is mind, I am pulling out the list to see what I can accomplish.  Just getting started can sometimes be the problem, but it is Leap Day, so the key word is leap.  Just go out and do it.  Pick up the phone, write the note, clean the next drawer.  Plant the tree, review your budget.  Walk to the plaza, learn a new word, volunteer.

The list may be long, the journey strenuous, but it all starts with the first step.

This is it.

Tonight I will report how I did.  Fingers crossed, hands folded.

40 days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Six

For this, the Sixth Day of Lent: "Give up the television remote. Let someone else control it. You know who you are and if this suggestion is for you."  

---UCC Lenten Devotional Calendar 2012

I generally watch TV alone.  Of course I do; after all, I live alone.  The dogs don't care, and the cat is usually in the other room or outside with her friends.  So really, I have to control the remote.  Funny thing, though, the remotes on both of my TV have not been operating correctly for some time.  I called the satellite service, but they were really not helpful.  I wrote to them earlier today, so maybe something will change.  But that is not what I am supposed to be thinking about or musing on.  

Control.  Control is the issue at hand here.  Give up control.  Now there is a concept.  

The first thing I thought about when I read the charge for today, since the TV remote thing doesn't apply in my case, was driving.  I can be a control freak when driving.  Now I know I will pay for this, especially when I "carpool" or travel with any of you (and you know who you are) in the near future.  I tend to want to drive.  I do have trouble relinquishing that control.  There are a couple of people with whom I am comfortable being the passenger (and you know who you are).  But usually I like to be behind the wheel.

Control.  That is definitely the issue.  That rarely seen part of my persona comes out: the alpha male side.  Imagine, me, alpha male.  Well, it had to be there somewhere.  Anyway...

I think the real issue for me is letting go and trusting.  Whether it be trusting the process of building consensus, believing that everything will come out okay or having faith in my own ability to weather the storms of life, control is something that must be reckoned with.  And like it or not, usually, there is no control for much of anything in life.  Life happens.  It rolls as it will.  The only thing we have control over is, you guessed it, how we handle it, what we think about it, and what we do with the experience.

So I think, no I know I have gotten better.  I can let the river flow.  It knows what it needs to do to get to where it is headed.  It can sometimes rage in the form of whitewater rapids or rush swiftly over the banks on its was to the sea.  In either case, even if I build the strongest dam, the river will get to where it needs to go.  I on the other hand, can go with the flow or drown in my resistance.

So today I remember to give up control when my control would only only force an unnatural outcome.  I will control my own feelings and reactions be remaining aware of them as they occur.  I will use them as tools to understand myself and the world around me.

And as for the TV, well, I have to remember only I can control the TV with or without the remote.  And I have to admit that as I realize that I don't have to share the remote, I sometimes wish I did.  And, yes, I know, only I can control that, too!

40 days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Five

Assignment for Day Five: Think of someone you need to thank and write them an old-fashioned thank you note. Even if it’s just to say “thank you for being you.”

Such a simple thing: writing a "thank you" note.  Okay, I said to myself, I can do this.  Think about who you owe a note of thanks to.  Oh, my.  Well, that took about an hour or so more or less.  So many people!  I owe thanks for the help getting this very computer!  I owe thanks for the encouragement I get writing this blog.  And there is much thanks due to those among you who listen to me go on about some of the silliest things that truly aren't all that important in the big scheme of things, but seem so very important to me at the time.

Thanks go out to all of you who actually read this blog whenever I write it and don't give up when I don't.  Thanks for the kind words that often come my direction unexpectedly but at just the right time.  And a big thanks go to the "man upstairs" for all the blessings in my life.  Yep, thanks are due, so that is why I set out to write at least one as the directions for this fifth day of lent suggested.

Okay.  Yep, that's just what I set out to do.

So I remembered that I had come across some very nice note cards embossed with my name on the front given to me several years ago by a dear friend (thank you BB).  I went to my old roll top desk given to me for birthday many years ago (thank you KD).  I had to move my laptop which some a good friend helped me pick out when I retired (thanks ML) and search through the stack of bills and mail (thank you service providers) to find them.  But I could not find them readily, so I went into the spare bedroom (thank God for the roof over my head) to look.  I was sure I had seen them in there when I was sorting and decluttering recently (thanks for the time and energy I have recently been enjoying).  No dice.

Okay, then I remembered there were other thank you notes in a drawer (thank you healthier diet for the improved memory) and found some.  I sat down and wrote out a thank you.  It was simple but heartfelt.  It felt so very good I wondered why I didn't do it more often.  Of course the excuses piled up around me until I couldn't see over the top and then the wind of personal responsibility blew them all away.  "Procrastination be gone!" I commanded.  And I wrote one. One simple thank you.  A step in the write, I mean right direction.  Strangely, it felt so very good.

We don't put pen to paper very much these days.  The advent of phones started it and then instant communication via electronic systems has practically made the art of writing the personal note obsolete.  So easy to just leave a message or blast out a e-mail.  Heartfelt maybe, but nothing like the pleasure of drawing symbols on paper that create words that carry sentiments of appreciation and positive regard to others.  Who doesn't enjoy receiving a hand-written note in the mail?  

So there you have it.  I think the point of this particular exercise was to think about gratitude.  We take so much for granted.  Taking time to say thank you, whether by a formal note or even just that transient electronic press of the keys on a keyboard, reminds one that when you are in the state of gratitude, you remember just how much we live in the state of grace; and just how much the other people in our lives give us every day.

Thank you to all and to all an owed note may soon be coming.

*****

Coming for Day Six:

"Give up the television remote. Let someone else control it. You know who you are and if this suggestion is for you."

These assignments continue to come from the UCC Lenten Calendar of Daily Devotionals found at 

UCC.org (Middle tab, PDF document available)

40 days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- First Sunday

For The First Sunday of Lent:

"Sundays are actually "in" Lent but not "of" Lent. Sundays aren't counted in the 40 days because Sunday is always a "little Easter."  Try shouting for joy somewhere, sometime today because it’s a "little Easter."

*****

Happy little Easter.  I like this idea.  Every Sunday as a "little Easter".  Sunday, like no other day in the week, is set aside for rest, reflection and restoration.  Of course in modern day life, it has become the go-to-Costco-wash-the-car-mow-the lawn-do-the-laundry-fit-in-church-if-you-can-bath-the-dog-clean-the-toilet-day mainly because we modern types have gotten so busy during the week already multi-tasking between work and home and school and hobbies if we have them, that we don't have much time to just sit and ponder.  We can't just "do nothing" it seems, without wondering what we should be doing.

But little Easter.  It is the day when you can "die" to everything that has kept you from meditating.  It is a time when you can "lay in the tomb" all those things that just aren't working for you.  And then it is when you can "resurrect" yourself to all that is holy within you.  You can be reborn and renewed.  Easter can be every Sunday if you set your intention to make it so.

On the way to church this morning I was slightly miffed that I had not been invited to a certain party I heard about.  That only compounded the nose being out of joint about another party list my name did not appear on.  Sure, I was invited to another party...but did I think about all the times I sat home alone and didn't know anyone who was having a party? Of course not!

"I tawht I taw a puddy cat.
I'm so mwiffed."  Elmer Fudd

On top of that, I just a bit stressed over having to do coffee hour when I was sure I had signed up for altar flowers.  Surely I would not have signed up for coffee hour because this was the weekend of my late mother's birthday.  I know I intended to do the flowers in her honor.  I remember thinking that as I signed on the sign up sheet.  But sure enough, I had affixed my name to the wrong list. And I went ahead and did the goodies for coffee hour, etc., with less than a joyous heart.  Shame on me, I said, but, well, I was, as I said already miffed and this just miffed me more.  

But of course church changed all that.  The music, the inspiriing words from the pulpit, the thank you's for my home-baked cookies, even the compliments on the fairly tasteless lemonade.  Di-miffed and moving on.  A sort of resurrection of spirt.  An Easter moment.

Oh, if only I could remember to lay to rest the urge to travel down those side streets that take me no where!  The highway is the high way, eyes on the prize, you know, all that jazz that reminds you that only you can prevent forest fires...I mean, only you can choose what you think and where you are headed.  Letting go and letting God, your higher power, the Universe guide you, that is what it means to have a little Easter.  And little Easters can happen any time...not just Sundays!

Now there's a state of mind I am ready to work toward achieving.  

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*If you choose to go to this website, don't be put off by
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40 days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Four

The Assignment for Day Four reads, "Make time today for the one you love and for God.  Each minute is a brick in your life's bridge, not only over troubled waters and loss, but to million cherished memories."

Memorey Bridge by Leslie Allen

I had a tough time with this one.  The directive to make time for the one you love assumes that you indeed have someone to love.  Being single, and having been so for a very long time, how does one make time for the one you love?  Then the "aha" hit as I realized my presumption was that the it was my interpretation of who the one I love should be.  And of course my belief was that the person was someone other than those already in my life.  It presumed that it was someone out there who I should be in love with.  What I didn't realize was until later in the day that it could mean many other people or things.  

The one that I love could be those already in my life.  And there are many, many people in my life who I truly love.  However, as the Wizard said to the Tin Man in the movie, The Wizard of Oz, "A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others."   And then is when I began to see the true meaning (at least for me) of today's directive.  The one you love can be...yourself.

It was another epiphany.  With that realization, it became clear that each moment is indeed a brick in my life's bridge to millions of cherished memories.  I only need to remember the people who have been in my life either in the past or present, to know each has inspired memories of good times and some bad times, but ultimately times where the love we shared came shining through.  Those are the bricks that build a life.  

So again during this journey of fasting, praying, giving and preparing, the clear message is to be mindful.  Creating memories is a craft.  Today for some reason I kept thinking about my grandfather who died many years ago.  I remember his kindly smile, his quiet presence and his way of supporting my grandmother, my mother and me without ever giving it a thought to do otherwise.  I remember his jaunty way of dressing and shy way of speaking.  I remember picking blackberries, pears and apples with him in his backyard and going to see The Ten Commandments, just he and I one Saturday matinee.  Those are my bricks.  

And so today I became aware how important it is to create memories each moment of every day and to love not other others, but yourself as well. And so, let it be.

****

For Tomorrow, The First Sunday:

Sundays are actually "in" Lent but not "of" Lent. Sundays aren't counted in the 40 days because Sunday is always a "little Easter." 

Try shouting for joy somewhere, sometime tomorrow because it’s a "little Easter."

40 Days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Three

Day Three

Lent is a season of repentance, of being sorry for the things you have done wrong. Note: it is not a season to feel sorry for yourself because of all the things that other people have done wrong.
*****

Repentance.  Things I have done wrong.  This is a heavy thing to consider.  There have been many things I have "done wrong", probably too numerous to list here.  But the truth is, I am sorry for them.  I have dealt with most of them.  I have made amends when and wherever possible.  Sometimes the wronged are no longer in my life, either having moved on or, in some cases, pass away.  But the sorry still lingers in my heart.  The healing goes on day to day, moment to moment.  Amends are made in many ways.  But constantly living in sorrow may not be the best way to live.  Repentance is "the action or process of repenting especially for misdeeds or moral shortcomings" (Merrian-Webster's Dictionary).  To repent is to "turn from sin and dedicate oneself to the amendment of one's life, to feel regret or contrition or to change one's mind" (again MW's definition).


Repentence is a constant way of living.  To amend one's life is to overcome the past and live true to one's moral convictions.  This is something I have tried to do most of my life.  Tried, of course, is the operative word here.  I am truly sorry for anything I have done, either consciously or unconsciously, to hurt anyone.  The truth for me, then, it to practice mindfulness.  Being aware and paying attention to the words that come out of my mouth are kind, necessary and true.


Being mindful is a discipline.  It is a practice.  Perhaps that is the lesson here.  Perhaps that is what comes with finding oneself sorry...and realizing that being sorry is not a good place to be.


So tonight I remember what I have been and may still be sorry for.  And that is a good thing...as it leads me to "repentance", to practicing mindful behavior.



“Before you speak, think -Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? Will it hurt anyone? Will it improve on the silence?”   This quote from the teachings of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, says it all and can be applied to actions.


Yes, this is the lesson to be learned from today's devotional experience.  May I practice it faithfully.


****

Tomorrow: Day Four:

"Make time today for the one you love and for God.  Each minute is a brick in your life's bridge, not only over troubled waters and loss, but to million cherished memories."

40 Days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day Two

Lenten Spiritual Journey:  Day Two

"Lent commemorates the 40 days Jesus spent wandering in the wilderness. Go for a solitary wander through your neighborhood, with no destination in mind. Notice everything. Notice yourself."

****

This evening I went for a wander.  It was not as easy as one might think. No destination in mind?  How can you do that?  I thought I could walk to the nearby shopping plaza, or over the the main boulevard, but wouldn't both of those be a "destination"?  I concluded that, yes, that would be a destination walk and not a wander.  So I closed up the house, put up the dogs, (they had their walks today already, didn't qualify as a wander), and set out.  

The first thing I noticed was the rising crescent moon in the darkened evening sky.  Nearby in the sky were two very bright stars...Venus?  Jupiter?  The sky was so clear, the stars were truly like the diamonds of song and poetry.  I set out down my street.  No one was outside. The houses were lit with warmly glowing light as the people inside went about their activities.  I imagined that each household was doing something about dinner or cleaning up.  Kids might be studying.  Parents watching the news.  The retired folks reading the paper.  Dogs would bark as I passed.  I steady river of traffic on the main street hissing like a mechanical river.  

I experienced some discomfort.  I wondered what I would say if someone, say a policeman, asked me what I was doing.  With no destination, on a spiritual exercise, that would be a tough when to sound sane about.  

But as I continued, those thoughts subsided.  I became aware of the sound of my footsteps on the pavement.  I became aware of my breathing in and out as I continued walking onto the next block.  I decide to just go around the block. I realized again that I had created a destination.  Wandering was a tough thing.  Especially in my own neighborhood.  Just looking around, seeing what's what.  That is not what one does, especially in one's own neighborhood.  People stare. They might talk.  Suspicions might be aroused.  

But on I trudged, putting those thoughts out of my mind.  Wandering.  Just going. No destination in mind.  One foot in front of the other.  Going on as if I was just making it up as I go.  I felt the moon following me.  The evening air was cooling gently and softly swept over me.  Sounds were muted into the background of my small journey around the block.  I found myself with a strange sense of clarity, aware of my thoughts, the smells and sounds of the night.  

Then suddenly I was back home.

As I set about fixing some dinner after this exercise, I noticed I was extremely conscious of what I was doing.  I consciously opened the fridge to get the milk and butter, the pantry to get the pasta.  Filling the saucepan with water to boil was almost a mystical experience.  My senses were heightened and at some points I felt as if I were observing myself.  Perhaps that is the point of this second day devotional.  Awareness of the your surrounding and becoming mindful of your predisposition to knowing the outcome and missing the experience.

Noticing everything.  Noticing oneself.  Going with the flow and being open to the still small voice.  Epiphany noted.

40 Days of Lent: A Spirtual Journey -- Day One

I have never observed Lent much more than thinking about the tradition behind Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday and that is was a time of "giving something up" until Easter Sunday.  This year I decided to do something more.  That is when I found a Lenten Calendar for the 40 days of Lent (beginning today and ending Holy Saturday).  On it are a number of activities to deepen one's sense of the spiritual and ultimately the awareness of one's own beliefs.  For the next 40 days, I will be blogging on my experience, epiphanies, reflections and more on this sacred journey.  Your comments are welcome and if you want to join me on this spiritual pilgrimage, I would love to travel with you.

Click to Find A 40 Day Calendar of Lenten Devotionals (Middle Tab)

Day One

Ash Wednesday: 

Fasting is an ancient tradition. Fast from something, say wine or meat, that you would normally eat or drink today.

Bread.  I chose to give up bread for today.  I used up the last of the bread in my house yesterday.  Now of course you know what I craving: french toast, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, hot buttered English muffin, bread and butter, on and on.  It is true for me that whatever I "give up" becomes the object of my obsession.  But today I gave up bread.

So during the day I have had random thoughts about bread in all its symbolic and nourishing ways.  Bread of life.  "Give us this day, our daily bread."  "Cast your bread upon the waters."  A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou."  "Bread for myself is a material question. Bread for my neighbor is a spiritual one." "Man cannot live by bread alone."  Earning your bread...money is called bread sometimes.  Buttered bread falls face down.


Ultimately, I realized I missed bread.  Bread is part of the daily diet of most Americans.  And I love it.  I love the smell of fresh baked bread.  I like hot toast with butter melting on it or some peanut butter and honey.    A good sandwich on sourdough or sheepherder's.  White bread, brown bread, pumpernickel, rye.


So giving up bread for this day was eye-opening.  For one thing, when you are trying not to think about something, (elephant in the room) that is all you think about.  So the fast from bread revealed what could be called a day of obsession.  The brain would not quit. The stomach turned with cravings for bread, bread, bread.  


Meditation helped.  Letting the thoughts of bread drift through my mind and not attaching myself to the thoughts proved successful.  When the Israelites were hungry, God provided.  Faith can see you through the most barren of times.  Even days without bread.


Was that the lesson here?  Giving up something you truly like and, forgive me, take for granted, does give one pause.  Discipline is something that leads one to a greater understanding of oneself and the world in general.  It can also lead to a closer walk with our higher power.


Mahatma Gandhi said, “There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”  And it is what Christians use during communion to represent the body of Christ.  The most rewarding times for humans as social animals are when we break bread together.


Food for thought on this first day of Lent.

Ground Hog's Day Eve

Ground Hog's Day Eve

On this first day of the second month of the new year, as we await the prognostication of the fabled Punxsutawny Phil, we can also take a moment to stick our own heads up to see if, indeed we see our own shadows.  And just as Phil predicts whether there will be six more weeks of winter, (doesn't that coincide with the first day of spring, March 21?), or not, we can make a discovery of our own.

So, what would that be, you might ask?  Well, I have to admit, I am not sure.  Just sticking my head above the dirt, I can see the horizon.  It is clear.  But just what is beyond the horizon, well, that is not as clear.  If fact, it is a mystery.  And that is where faith begins.  And trust.  And belief in oneself.  The time has come.  It is now.  Seize the day.

Second month, second chance to begin again and get things right.

If Phil sees his shadow, it means six more weeks of winter.  If Phil does not see his shadow, it fortells an early spring.  In either case, by spring, we have totally forgotten what Phil predicted.  The same is true of my vision of the horizon, (read: goals, dreams, desires).  Its out there.  Yes, even at this late stage, there is still a future, a vision.

And I plan to find out what it is.