Almost Ten Years

The death of Osama Bin Laden yesterday brought it all back.

I was getting ready for work.  For some reason I cannot remember, I was going in a bit late.  It was a Tuesday morning, much like any other.  TheToday show was on.  Then it began.  Katie Couric, a dazed look of disbelief on her face, reported that a "small plane" had reportedly crashed into the first tower of the World Trade Center.  "How bizarre," I remembered thinking.  "What would a small plane be doing in downtown Manhattan?  Probably some rogue pilot.  I hope no one in the building was hurt."  I had to get to work, so I turned off the TV and left the house.

On my way to work I heard the rest on NPR.  A jetliner had crashed into the World Trade Center.  "A JETLINER?" I exclaimed out loud.  Then the report of the second jetliner crashing into the other tower.  I felt a wave of sheer terror.  I was at work by then.  I was 2nd in charge of the office.  My co-workers were scared, sobbing.  Then came word of the pentagon and Shanksville.  The boss told everyone to go home and "stay safe."  We were speechless.  

My fellow supervisor and I stayed for a while, just waiting, wondering.  The office was empty by then.  We could go home.  But we were afraid.  We were three-thousand miles away, but what if the attackers started attacking the west coast?  The "what-if's" practically paralyzed us.

Finally, we went home.  

I remember being glued to the television the rest of the day.  I could not absorb it.  How could this happen?  How could huge airliners be highjacked and crashed into a pair of the tallest buildings in the world?  How many were inside, in the street as the towers came down?  Questions, so many that to this day have not be answered, and may never be.  The biggest question of course being, why?  Why?

Now Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Do we rejoice?  Do we feel any safer?  Revenge is best served cold.  Justice must be exacted.  Evil must be fought and conquered.  It is in the Bible.  It is human nature.  It is what it is and what it, sadly, always will be.  The death of anyone, even the most evil madman in modern times, is not cause for elation.  Relief maybe, but not truly pure joy.  Any joy would surely be tainted.  It is a time for reflection, that pure and that simple.

I just heard someone on TV say, "Now we have a modicum of closure for all of those affected by 9/11".  I modicum.  That is all we can ever have, I expect.  It will never be "closed".  The wound is still tender, even almost ten years later.  And the fear is back and palpable.  

Osama Bin Laden is dead.  But what does that mean?  What does it really mean?